Before Whom You Stand

Sitting at my desk, I watched the dust motes float in the air around me, sparkling in the diminishing sunlight.

I knew that teenagers can be cruel because I too was once a teenager.

But some teenagers are crueler than others.

Her words typically centered on how much she despised her mother, who was too fat, had too many lines on her face, wore awkward clothing and was always lying on the couch after work, exhausted.

Her mother was single with more than the girl under her care, but it was that time in life when the pubescent female cannot resist both disparaging her mother and worrying that she’ll end up just like her.

I had heard her talking to her friends, aping her mother’s speech and sluggishness. They all laughed (apparently suffering similar mothers) which only encouraged more cruelty.

One day toward the end of the school year, I asked them to write a paper about someone they found interesting, incorporating both their good and realistic qualities.

It wasn’t a “hero” paper; in our vacuous culture, teenage hero papers usually devolve into the foolish admiration of a wealthy pop star or athlete, someone of whom they had no personal knowledge.

But she had chosen to write about her mother with such animosity that I suggested we discuss it after school some day.

This isn’t balanced, I said carefully when she appeared at my desk. Can’t you think of any good qualities your mother has or try to be more objective?

She would not look at me.

And then she began to cry.

Not just the leaky tears of which I myself have been so often guilty, but great soul wracking sobs.

My mother is sick, so sick she may die, she said.

I didn’t know, she said.

The angry teenager was unwillingly united in grief with her dying mother; it was a moment in time when nothing would ever be the same, a crack in the universe, a life altering earthquake. 
 Perhaps she would be one of the few teenagers whose parents would never see their child graduate from high school.

What would happen?

***********

Obadiah had heard about Elijah and so he recognized him walking the road because of his hairy garment fastened with a leather belt.

Tell King Ahab I’m coming, Elijah tells Obadiah, who immediately protests, knowing Ahab has been hunting Elijah during the drought years.

He will kill me, Obadiah says, I who am faithful to Yahweh and have saved the lives of 100 other prophets.

You tell me to do that, Obadiah says, but as soon as I leave you, the Spirit of the Lord will carry you to who knows where.

Little did Obadiah know that his words foreshadowed the last known days of Elijah, who, as Elisha and many young prophets watched, was indeed whisked away by the Spirit of the Lord to who knows where.

Elijah promised, “I swear by the Lord God Almighty, in whose presence I stand, that I will present myself to Ahab this very day. “

He did not say, “before whom I will stand.”

He repeatedly used the present tense, “before whom I stand.”

***********

Today the phrase “Know Before Whom You Stand” is written above the ark in many Jewish synagogues.

***********

To stand before no one?

To believe in no absolute truth?

To see nothing beyond our present reality? ***********

Regardless, what will be will be.

But it is good to know before whom you stand.

*********** Alone Encaustic on board