Eulogy

To Witness the Paths of Angels

“….the infinite abyss can be filled only with an infinite and immutable Object, that is to say, only by God Himself.”

Blaise Pascal, Pensées VII

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Physicians say that, not unlike the healing waters of the Dead Sea, immersing oneself in the first light of the morning (which is often more beautiful than sunrise) enriches the body with therapeutic nutrients, renewed energy and healing properties.

When he was yet a boy, he had walked enough in the true First Light to comprehend the difference between the Light and the darkness.

But it started as a whisper—a counterfeit of the soft spiritual coaxing of First Light— and it murmured this, over and over: “You are not enough. You are weak and useless and you are alone.”

Gifted with a mind of broad expanse, he grasped and weighed stories and images and truths that narrow the space between eternity and life.

It is a time of sorrow to watch someone destroy himself, both or either physically or spiritually. To live with darkness—literal or spiritual—is to live with creatures whose teeth are so voracious that they only bite deeper with struggle.

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Cain was not happy.

His brother Abel had achieved what Cain had not—the approval of Yahweh.

In gentle scold, Yahweh reminded His child Cain that if he did what was right, he would find peace.

If Cain did not, crouching at his door were hungry predators which would deepen the darkest part of him. They desired to have him and, if he did not rule them, they would rule him.

His battle was not with his brother.

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A brain is both small and vast—not just the center of intelligence and knowledge, but a battlefield.

It is a holy war between One whose Light shines so brightly that earthly eyes would scorch in its presence and between dark beings whose only goal is to feed an ancient hunger that is never satiated.

As a mother calls an errant child at dusk, her call echoing through darkening streets—so the Father calls those who walk only in the safety of the shallow water of the shore—but especially those who swim out too far alone and can no longer see the shore.

For one who cannot swim, there is danger in deep water, yet shallow water holds no challenge, filled with noise and visuals and products and often the deception of safety and self reliance.

But the deep?

In the deep can be loneliness, weariness, addiction and denial.

Perhaps relief requires the exquisite pain of finding a purpose—a gift—but not so deep as to drown in helplessness.

For indeed what is the point of a life lived for a moment’s satisfaction, one day streaming into the next.

Sinking beneath the onslaught of muscular waves and the call of the Sirens comes an urge to abandon life.

What does it mean to be saved? Unseen arms surround until the shaking stops and the enflamed soul can rest.

What fool was I to think I could have made a difference. I, after all, could not swim and certainly could have drowned in the depths where he dwelt.

If summoned, I would, by faith, have gone, but in truth, the Father is always present, in both the shallow and the deep.

He surrounds the four pillars of the earth, stands above and beyond the stars He named, and always, always, always He stands at the line where heaven and earth meet.

************* I had a dear friend, a highly educated and intelligent mentor now long gone.

She was a smoker; as I listened to her, I often marveled at her words as they drifted above us in images like the smoke.

One day she remarked unemotionally that, when she left teaching, the space she left would close quickly around her, replacements rushing in to erase her from the chalk board.

This was both true and false.

I think of her often: her knowledge still lives within me but, then, I too have left and here I sit. How will my words be carried?

Every human leaves an imprint, burning a brand on the flesh of his surroundings.

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What happens when the infinite abyss is filled with malevolent creatures that crawl in and out, abusively whipping the deep water, complicating the focus of the soul?

Can the abyss be filled with a Light so brightly stunning that both warms and comforts the parts of us that cannot otherwise be reached?

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The ancient prophet Enoch is said to have been taken up by heavenly beings— Archangel Michael and others. Enoch’s journey is one of both fear and joy.

The winds that shift the clouds from one sky to another lifted also

Enoch’s body, transporting him to places of ethereal beauty heretofore unseen by human eyes.

He saw both places of punishment where no flesh walks and the mountain gardens where the Infinite dwells. Enoch walked on the stars under his feet, as earth.

These angelic beings carried Enoch over and through vast treasuries of stars and winds and thunder, passing cities of shining crystal and lapis lazuli and garnet—over mountains both fiery and studded with precious jewels of brilliant shining color, such as the amber gleam of jacinth.

Lifted to a great mountain of such vast height that he could see the expanse of the stars, the heavens and a portion of God’s future dwelling place, Enoch moved past portals of heaven through which winds blow, both gentle and violent, to the highest summit—to the throne of God.

Aromatic trees emit a fragrance of frankincense and myrrh.

To Enoch, the Archangel Michael revealed the Tree of Life, a tree which is like no other; no mortal is allowed to touch the Tree of Life but one day, its fragrance will permeate the bones of those who dwell with Yahweh.

And the stars—the stars have names, personified in their dwelling.

Enoch stood over this celestial landscape and observed, “I could see the paths of angels.”

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The Dead Sea is buoyant with a content of 34% salt which is why the human body does not sink; it receives water from the Jordan River, but no water flows out of the Dead Sea except through evaporation.

Nearby are the slopes of Mount Sodom upon which stand pillars of salt resembling human figures which some call Lot’s wife. The Arabic name for the Dead Sea is the Sea of Lot.

The Dead Sea is believed to be the location of the cities of Sodom & Gomorrah, long ago once verdant enough to sustain life.

Did God truly strike it with fire and brimstone?

In so doing, He also created the lowest point on this planet.

But now, centuries later, the Dead Sea offers healing to the human body; even the accursed can be transformed into blessing.

Bible prophets have foretold that, one day, the Dead Sea will no longer be as it is now but vibrant again, abundant with streaming waters deemed “living” because they flow and teem with life.

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Swimming in the waves of the deep, would his 17 Bibles save him?

When it was over, would he at least rise to the floor of heaven’s vast expanse?

At the last, when he stumbled alone—as all— down that vast empty corridor, the creatures had stopped whispering. In life they pulled him with their many appendages into the stench of their swamp, but now they moved to gnaw at someone else’s eternity.

He is at last, in my mind, at peace, at last whole, surrounded by those who love him and perhaps, in looking back he regrets the way he filled his infinite abyss.

Perhaps he can now truly love himself, made whole and happy, laughing with real joy and merriment.

And perhaps he is surrounded by a Light so bright and stunning that for once he is at last washed clean, both body and soul immersed in the “living waters” that rush around him, warming and cleansing his flesh for the first time in many decades.

Perhaps now at last he has the peace he had forsaken all his life.

And perhaps he, now, too, can witness the paths of angels.

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“Let us weigh the gain and the loss in wagering that God is. Let us estimate these two chances. If you gain, you gain all; if you lose, you lose nothing. Wager, then, without hesitation that He is.”

Blaise Pascal, Pensees. *************** Guardian   acrylic on board